12/25/2018

Holiday blues

For years and years I always get depressed during the holidays.  At first I thought it was because the kids were grown and the fun part was gone from Christmas but over time I realized it was the darkness and it had nothing to do with the holidays....  It always sneaks up on me and I'm depressed before I realize it.. Then one day I start weeping for absolutely no reason and think "Oh this again". I have found ways to help deal with it...


First I sleep... If I get up and don't want to face the day I don't.  I crawl back into my wonderful bed, pull my covers up and sleep for hours and hours. I will wake up and fix dinner and go back to bed and sleep all night...a mini hibernation.  If I can sleep like that I figure my body is sending me a message.  It sort of resets my mental state and I do feel better when I finally get up the next day.  I missed a day but I'm better inside.

Second I think green... I buy Amaryllis... lots of them and watch them grow.  This year I started them late and it will be well into January before they bloom.  Also thinking green I will crawl into bed with a notebook and take mental strolls through my garden and decide all the changes I want to make... move lily-of-the -valley to the back of the house, make a special bed for growing parsnips, move the tractor rose somewhere I can see it, etc.,etc., etc. I do this several times through the winter..  By spring of course I have mislaid the lists... but I do remember some of it..

On bad days I used to stay in my nightgown and stitch all day but that recourse is gone. So the last cure all is the kitchen... I put on an apron and cook for hours.. I take my time picking an apron that is coordinated with my outfit for the day.. Having the right apron makes for better cooking----everyone knows that. And having a new apron is even better... I watch the apron rack every thrift store I visit.  I think the cooking aromas are mood elevating but it is also the light.  My kitchen is the lightest room in the house as I took the covers off all the light fixtures, added the highest watts I could,  and I have additional lamps everywhere...

One year I asked my doctor for an antidepressant and she said "NO WAY!" and we had a long talk instead.  She's the greatest..

And magically once winter solstice passes I am cured... I embrace that extra minute or two of light each day.  I can stand on the porch and hear the daffodils swelling under the snow.  I made it another year.

Last night we had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at table 45 in our favorite restaurant. I find it amazing after 43 years we can spend an entire evening chatting away and have a great time. Notice the hair is still there.....

Merry Christmas everyone......


8 comments:

crafty cat corner said...

Although it sounds wrong to say it, it's good when others admit to being depressed. I fall foul of this from time to time but always come out the other end and carry on without any pills.
I'm loving the hair, dare I say, it makes you look younger.
Briony
x

Unknown said...

Your hair looks great, Gerry. Merry Christmas to you and hubby.

cq4lefleur said...

Always love reading your writings. Sounds like you are in a good frame of mind. Too bad it takes us so long to figure out all of the solutions to our problems. Of course with the internet, we don’t have to remember everything. Just have to remember to look it up.
I love playing in the kitchen as well. Today I was using my prettiest things. Today being Xmas and all...... You know how we save the best for good. Well heck. These are the good old days, so why not use everything pretty all of the time.
Will miss seeing you on Friday. Good luck on you test. NO STROKING.
Yes, the hair looks great. You look much lighter and uplifted.
Love you. Kathy, too

Magpie's Mumblings said...

I guess you could say I'm a kindred soul when it comes to feeling depressed this time of year. I suspect much of it is because of the shorter days and the lack of sunshine. I was on medication for years but finally decided to give it up and so far so good. I make sure I take Vit D and if I start feeling really down I add 5-HTP to it and that seems to be enough to get me through the worst of it. February is actually my worst month - wish we could just remove it off the calendar!

Cathy said...

Merry Christmas (belatedly!) You and Ron both look great. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, too, and being in a light room (any place on the south side of the house; my bedroom or the kitchen) does help, as does all the bright full spectrum lights of my sewing studio. Must try the nap thing!

justanitzybitcrazy said...

Oh my, it's January 8th and I've just recalled I haven't checked out your blog in over a month ... the reason ... I too have become depressed as well as exhausted, and had a small breakdown on Dec 3rd. One of my main concerns now is that I am having difficulty sleeping and staying focused. The antidepressants made me sick so can't take them and I am taking sleeping pills as needed. I am slowly feeling better and am planning on going to 3 small quilt retreats in the next few months. If this doesn't perk me up nothing will ... lol!! Christmas was quiet at our home, with only one child we can't expect her to come home for Christmas every year. We did get together for a nice New Years Day family dinner and that was fine with me.
I think I'll pop out and pickup some bulbs and plant some for me and my daughter. They are such a pretty flower once they bloom. Happy New Years

Unknown said...

You look great Gerry!

Knit With A Passion said...

God bless his lightbox which I’m going to sneak off to try out now!

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