1/28/2024

Help from strangers

  


It used to be embarrassing to ask for help from anyone  as I want to do everything myself.  But in fact I know I not only need help, I need lots of help and I need it often.

At one point I realized that I'd better give it some serious thought, especially on how to ask for and accept help from strangers.  Over and over I had to explain “I have vision problems.”

 


Often when I‘m in a crowded or strange place, I get disoriented.  I just  need to stop and stand until I feel safe. But I know when I do this, people think I am scary or demented.

 

 

One deciding difference that I made is wearing a button which says, “Vision  Impaired.”  It immediately does away with repeatedly having to explain what is wrong with me.  This one small thing has made getting help from strangers so much easier.

 

Now it does not bother me to ask someone where I am or where I need to go. I even ask people to read my list to see if I have everything in my basket at the store.  And I have no embarrassment   asking someone,   “Can you help me?” because they read the button and immediately understand. 

 

I’ve shopped at the same store for decades and  know genearally where most things are.  For instance, I know pumpkin is in the sixth aisle on the bottom shelf on the right hand side. This is fine until they move it. Then I have to ask someone. 

 

I recently had  to cross a street by myself in Seattle.  

I asked  a stranger if I could hang on to their elbow to cross the street.  I also need help from strangers with elevators, as I have had several  problems with elevators since I can't see the panel.  Now I wait at the door for someone to get on.  Or I grab someone who is getting off and have them push the buttons for me.

 

I ask strangers to read price tags for me, write down numbers for me, and tell me how many steps I have left to go when descending stairs.

 

Asking for help from strangers now is just second nature and not so  embarrassing    Wearing the button is instant communication and has made all the difference.   The buttons are available several places on the internet.  I bought a dozen and keep an extra in my purse.  

1 comment:

Margaret said...

What a wonderful post. When my husband was alive and losing bits and piece of himself to Type 1 Diabetes, we had to ask for help. We were fortunate to have close friends who often stepped up, and to belong to a faith community that really did so -- and continued to help for years. We learned who our friends were, and who were uncomfortable watching his demise and my juggling -- a full-time job and most of the chores and the kids' needs. My employer and colleagues also gave me time and space if I needed to take it to attend to his needs or those of my aging mother. Once, in an airport, I had to ask a strange man to help my DH in the men's washroom, because he was legless, in a wheelchair -- and I couldn't go in (for obvious reasons!) It takes a certain humility that our culture doesn't cultivate, but in the end, when you ask for help and are given it, the person/people who do so are as blessed in the doing as you are in the receiving.

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