3/09/2010

No Door, No More

I had an lovely, rustic, weathered door from the old milking side of the barn.(which later became the tea room).. It had to have been 80 years old and weighed more than 100 pounds... I had it on saw horses and walked by it many times a day... It was like a creative puzzle..."What to do with this fabulous, weathered old door?" It had been sitting there for about 20 years and I thought about it every single day... I thought of 100s of things to do with the old door as yard art but just not that perfect vision...

And every spring when HWCH prowled the garden for things to haul away, he wanted to haul away that door which he considered an eyesore rather than a treasure... Monday he caught me at a moment when I was particularly overwhelmed with all that needed to be done and about to go AGAIN to a radiologist for more steroids in my shoulder..and I said "Okay, if you save the hinges, you can take the door!"

So then when I came home from the doctor's the next day I went to the barn and passed NO DOOR on saw horses. I realized at that moment what an important talisman that door was to me. I went into the barn and sat on a bale of hay and cried....not just sniffles....I wailed. I wailed because my shoulder hurt. I wailed because I'm not young and strong anymore. I wailed because I don't have the energy and time to do all I want to do. I wailed for my lost door and because in all those years I did not take even one picture of my beloved door...

But when I was done wailing I knew in my heart the door truly was too heavy and big for me to handle any more and how great a treasure was it really if I let it sit there 20 years? I do need to work on getting rid all the old wheels, farm tools, and odd iron pieces (aka junk) I have tucked (hidden) everywhere. I need to be more realistic on what I can do and can't do anymore...and I need to find another old door......I might have another one hidden behind the lath area.... Not as good, but still an old weathered door... Then I'll hire me another "handy man" and do something with it... and I hung the rusty old hinges from the other door in my kitchen...

5 comments:

Bev said...

a very touching story. Loved it.

Lisa said...

Oh Gerry! I can so relate to this... I have been wailing this week too, but not brave enough to put it "out there". (((hugs))) (and I hope you find your "new" old door to replace the old missed one.

Cathy K said...

One door closes, another opens. Doors are such powerful metaphors for opportunities as well as life stages. Put a positive spin on it (sounds like you have, Dear One) and if you find that hidden door, snap a picture for us! Love, Cathy

Marty52 said...

I know how you feel... it's no fun when you can't do the things you used to do. It sucks, actually! ;0)

Maybe you could go and find the door at the dump or wherever he took it?

Plays with Needles said...

Oh. If I lived any where near you...I would have chased down your door...found it and brought it home. I do hope another door comes your way. *sigh

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